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14. Websites containing uncouth language or other “questionable” content are not blocked on the campus wireless network.
13. Sunday dinner at home with a handful of friends quickly devolves into a drunken flip-cup tournament.
12. When you tell people you speak Spanish, it does not even occur to them to ask whether you served a Spanish-speaking mission.
11. At least forty percent of your pantry stores consist of coffee, tea, or alcohol. You’re the only one in the house who dubs it the “Word of Wisdom Closet,” though.
10. Your department’s fall reception features cheap red wine in plastic cups, rather than Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider in plastic cups.
9. While plenty of grad students have a couple of cats, it’s definitely out of the norm to have a couple of kids.
8. Your students quote Ke$ha instead of Nephi.
7. People describe where they live based on proximity to certain bars.
6. Grocery stores are the most crowded on Sundays.
5. You appear years younger than you are, and that’s not normal here.